


You Can Be Oblivious

by screamoffkey



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But there is in fact an ending, Confession, First Kiss, Happy is a strong word, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 21:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16818652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamoffkey/pseuds/screamoffkey
Summary: TJ and Cyrus get into another fight.





	You Can Be Oblivious

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be cute, but it ended up just being angsty. Cyrus is a freshman in this, and TJ is a sophomore.
> 
> I purposefully wrote TJ as a flawed character. He's trying to become a better person, but he's not there yet, and it's not supposed to be excused.
> 
> TW for language

I really wish that that fight at the swing set was the first and last of our friendship; but of course, it wasn’t. And again, deep down, I know this one was my fault too. _Classic TJ._ I don’t know why, but I’m never able to stop the trajectory of my actions, even when I know I’m headed down the wrong path. It happened with Buffy, and it was happening again. It’s like I’m in a car going a hundred miles an hour, and it feels like the whiplash of slamming on the break is going to hurt just as much as crashing, so I just don’t.

And that’s how I found myself arguing with Cyrus Goodman in the Jefferson High School parking lot.

“You _can’t_ keep doing shitty things and expect me to chase after you, TJ! It isn’t fair.” Cyrus warned. He had finally found me kicking gravel outside the school, and silently hoping that he’d follow me, and was walking down the steps of our school to confront me. His voice was strained with frustration, but he never yelled.

It’s the one thing I can’t stand about Cyrus. He never lets his emotions get the better of him. No matter what happens to him, no matter who hurts him, Cyrus can always stay rational. Even when he has every right to be screaming at me, or to never talk to me again, somehow he keeps a level head. It’s not fair how he’s such a good person, when I’m a mess.

“No one is _making_ you chase after me, Underdog!” I growled. “You don’t want to be here, and I don’t want you to be here either! Just let me ruin things for myself. I don’t need you stepping in and making things better every time I fuck up!” I tried using a sarcastic tone to mask the frustration that was rising, but my emotions were leaking past the mask. I felt my blood boiling and voice rising. My fist clenched, the dried blood on my knuckles chipped and cracked like paint as I squeezed my hand tighter. I was lying. I had wanted him to come after me more than anything when I stormed out of the room. I wanted him to make everything better, to talk me down from the high of pure rage.

Cyrus stopped dead in his tracks on the steps. He looked completely shocked, like he couldn’t fathom what I just said.

“ _How_ are making this about _you?_ This didn’t have anything to do with you, and somehow you turned _me_ getting bullied into an opportunity to feel sorry for yourself. Well, I’m not here for another TJ Kippen pity party. I’m to tell you that you shouldn’t have punched Griffin.”

But, I already knew I shouldn’t have done that. And I knew I was making this entire thing about myself. It made me furious that I couldn’t stop myself doing either of those things.

I had gone to the cafeteria to meet up with Cyrus after school, when I saw Griffin King looming over Cyrus like a vulture. A lanky sophomore who was known for smoking in the school bathroom and putting cigarette butts out on the arms of freshmen. Cyrus wasn’t trying to make any trouble, but Griffin kept shoving him, laughing to his goons who were gawking over at the next table. I started rushing over to get him to back off, and I overheard what he was saying to the boy I cared so much about.

“Aw, the fairy is all by himself!!” He cackled as he idly flicked at Cyrus’ head. Underdog sat unflinching, locking those big brown eyes with me as he saw me approach.

“Hey _faggot_! I hear you’re pretty chummy with some guys on the basketball team. Why aren’t any of your boyfriends here right now?” He turned to see what Cyrus was staring at, and when he saw me standing right in front of him, he started sputtering.

“Oh fuck wait listen TJ-”

It was like I blacked out from anger. The fact that he had the nerve to mess with anyone, let alone someone like Underdog, who’d never done anything to deserve this. Someone whose only crime was daring to see the best in shitty guys like me. That he had the fucking audacity to use _that word_ and make Cyrus feel like who he was is anything but perfect, made me lose all control of myself.

The next thing I knew, Cyrus and a couple of guys from the guys’ basketball team were pulling me off a pulverized Griffin, who by the looks of him had a broken nose and two black eyes.

“TJ! What the hell?!” Cyrus gasped, and he looked as stunned as I did looking at the mess I had just gotten myself into. I hurriedly shoved passed him and the crowd that had accumulated and started making my way out of the school.

And now there I was, pouting in a parking lot with a steely-eyed Cyrus, who looked like he had been drained of any pity he had to offer me. I knew that I should have slammed the brakes on the conversation: apologized and go from there. But instead I said.

“Well _excuse me_ for caring about you, Cyrus! I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.” I was screaming at the younger boy at this point. My eyes were brewing tears that were starting to blur my vision.

“I can handle myself, TJ. I don’t need you knocking people out for me. It isn’t your problem.”

The words were tense and measured. The control he had over his emotions riled me up; I don’t know why, but I wished more than anything that I could make him mad. _Maybe if you can make him mad, it means he cares about you,_ my subconscious whispered into my anger fogged brain.

“It _is my problem!_ This whole thing is my problem!” I shouted.

“What the _hell_ is that supposed to mean, TJ? You can be _so_ confusing!” Well, I did it. I cracked him. Cyrus allowed himself to yell at me, a low rumble lacing into his voice.

All of my emotions were overwhelming me. Every ounce of my body wanted to tell him exactly why I was acting the way I was, why Griffin hurting him hurt me too, why I was furious that I couldn’t be a better person for him. _I’m in love with you, Asshole._

I took as step towards him, my voice cracking.

“Well, you can be infuriating!”

Brown eyes locked, as he took a defiant step towards me.

“You can be over-protective.”

 _Step._ “You can be calculating.”

 _Step._ “You can be reckless.”

_“You can be oblivious!”_

We were inches a part at this point, glaring at each other. Cyrus was looking into my eyes like he was trying to solve a problem. His voice had return back to a stable tone now, but it still danced with rebellious undertones.

“Then elucidate me.”

This was the brick wall. This was the inevitability I knew I was hurdling towards the moment I saw Cyrus in this parking lot. It's what I was running from when I left the cafeteria. My emotions were racing, and they sent my lips straight towards his.

I closed the space between us, and kissed him, I felt the shock at the instant of contact like it was static, but it quickly warmed into something gentle when I realized that _Cyrus was returning the kiss_. My head spun as I slowly pulled back, and met his eyes, dizzy from confusion.

Cyrus looked stunned as well.

“Oh.”

“That’s the best I can explain it all, I guess.”

“Trust me... _This all makes sense now._ ” I could tell that it was all falling into place in his mind. Why I had reacted so viscerally to Griffin using that word, why I was so protective of him, why I wanted him to be there for me when I didn’t care if anyone else was.

I shifted uncomfortably. My mind was calming down from the craziness of everything that happened, but I still didn’t understand where we stood. After a little moment, I started.

“…I’m sorry. About all of this.”

He let out a sardonic chuckle, “You finally apologized. But, TJ, you don’t have to be sorry. At least not about _that_.”

“So, uh…

He stood up on his toes to give me another soft kiss, that was readily returned. It was a peace offering, a soft confirmation that also said, _this isn’t a happy ending just yet._

“I’m still mad at you, you know.”

I laughed at that. Fair enough. For all my imperfections, I was alright with not being completely pardoned. But, knowing that Cyrus was there for me was enough for now. We waited patiently for the principal or whoever to find us in sitting on the steps of the school. I’d face the consequences of my bad decisions soon enough, with the school and with Cyrus. But, we’d set them aside for later. Just for a moment, we'll allow ourselves to sit with each other and ignore what may happen next.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked wading knee deep in angst. IDK how I feel about this fic... but I finished writing it, so I figured there's no harm in posting it. Lemme know what y'all think, because maybe I'm better off sticking to fluff lol
> 
> I don't love writing in first person, so apologies if its not my best work


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